The Four Days of Receiving

I fell into bed at midnight last night and surfaced only briefly, in response to being hit in the face with a paw, which is the universal feline signal for, “WAITER, BRING ME FOOD!”, at 8.30am, before returning to deep unconsciousness for another couple of hours.

My job has changed again and you find me back in the world of General Surgery, where I’m having a surprising amount of fun considering my complete lack of interest in actually being a surgeon. The rota fairies landed me with surgical receiving for the four days immediately following Christmas. And thus it was that, MRCP in two weeks or no MRCP*, this morning was for sleeping.

In the four days of Christmas, the ED sent to me… **

Twelve with too much turkey
Eleven PRs
Ten patients shouting
Nine GI bleeds
Eight sad gallbladders
Seven broken ribs
Six bumps on the noggin
Five UTIs
Four calls to resus
Three nasty stab wounds
Two with pancreatitis
And an emergency appendicectomy.

* This being the chief reason for my relative absence from the Internet. I will once again be a more or less functional human being on January 15th.
** With apologies to Frederic Austin, and I may or may not have taken some creative liberties with… well, all of it.

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